I am a mess.


The woe is me factor
December 12, 2001 @ 5:53 p.m.

Is there a reason that I drive everyone away? It's like the more I try to love and feel human the less I actually am. I don't want to hurt others, so why do I?

I used to pretend that things were okay with me. I used to think that living a lie was all right, because it never hurt anyone, least of all the people I truly cared about.

I was wrong.

The woe is me factor is waxing horribly right now, and I'm frightened to think that this kind of feeling can last. At a time when I need that reassurance that I'm okay, I'm pushing away with unimaginable force.

I don't like myself much when I do that. Makes things hazy, hard to understand.

I can't get things straight in my mind. It's like there was this clear-cut line before in my mind and now that line has faded. I can't tell if I've crossed it.



<< | >>

- - March 22, 2010
always the same - July 01, 2008
b-a-n-a-n-a-s! - December 25, 2006
elementary again - October 29, 2006
I don't like you, but I love you - October 03, 2006

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