Two minutes
April 04, 2002 @ 8:15 a.m.
Do you honestly expect me to understand what happened last night? For the five minutes that you were with me, I shivered like a leaf fallen from a tree that I'd been trying to forget.
Your eyes aren't brown, like I thought they were. No, I got close enough last night, close to the crinklies.
They're blue. Or blue-green, as the case may be. And trust me, you're not helping my case. Quit being sweet, dammit.
I'm going to be strong, I'm going to forget you. I have people that say I must. And I know I must, deep down. I hate when you pretend that you're sweet, because then the romantic in me begins wandering.
And I saw you, and my knees nearly gave out. I thought I could have been more strong and assertive than I was. Your stupid green jacket doesn't help, reminds me of things.
Reminds me of this. And I don't need to be reminded of this.
Turns out you do like to see me all bothered by you. I don't mean bothered in a good way. Turns out you like to see me intimidated by you, makes you laugh I think.
You laughed a lot last night.
And I don't want to go into specifics, because I only know that it'll be bad. The people who want to know, I'll tell.
When you came to the door this very early morning, you didn't look like yourself. Or maybe it was how I pictured you. But you didn't look like him.
And I guess I pictured you differently, now. I could see a difference in your walk a bit, you were more easy to please.
That might have just been something that came with my helped assertiveness. But my assertiveness is backing down, giving way to passivity again. Isn't there an easier way to make myself fall out of desire for you?
I desire every part of you, and I hate that you can strategically ruin my life like that. I never planned for this kind of attack -- I figured soft and moving was not your style.
Somehow, you know just what I like. And I don't want to deal with it anymore. I need to sleep you away, deal with you only when I'm ready or wanting to.
Right now, I want two full minutes in my mind when you're not there. When I don't think of you, when I don't hear your laugh, picture your goofy walk or your goofy smile.
Give me two minutes. And I swear to God it's all downhill from there.
<< | >>
- - March 22, 2010
always the same - July 01, 2008
b-a-n-a-n-a-s! - December 25, 2006
elementary again - October 29, 2006
I don't like you, but I love you - October 03, 2006