...this is my apology
April 30, 2004 @ 12:42 a.m.
In less than seven hours I shall be on the road for Omaha. My mother and I have decided that come rain or shine we are going to the zoo, so that's planned for Friday afternoon. Saturday will be bed shopping and jewelry shopping -- I'm going to see if there's not a ring I can buy my mother for cheap for Mother's Day. I'm not rich, but my mother deserves something nice for Mother's Day and I can't write her anything worthwhile anymore.
Something tells me she'd just lay it aside anyway.
And so I'm in quite a mood tonight. Johnny Rzeznik's lyrics are ringing especially true. I'd cry if it was worth it, but it isn't. I have my reasons, but they're old reasons, reasons that should have expired two months ago.
I can't help but feel lonely when I think about it all. As though I'm your greatest liability.
I dare you to miss me when I'm gone.
...Oh for Chrissakes. I didn't think that this fucking diary could get any more emo.
Fuck all of you. I hate you. I hate you. I'm glad I'm leaving so I don't have to update for you suckfucks that just skim over it anyway. Just as long as my name is in red, that's all that matters.
I'm tired of being alone. So hurry up and get here.
I just...I can't. I can't. I haven't been this bad in a while and I'm afraid. Because it's different now. Because there's no one to listen. Because I can't write it out. Because I want to hurt myself.
because i want.to.make.it.hurt.
miss me. miss me when i'm gone
<< | >>
- - March 22, 2010
always the same - July 01, 2008
b-a-n-a-n-a-s! - December 25, 2006
elementary again - October 29, 2006
I don't like you, but I love you - October 03, 2006