I am a mess.


the awful lie
May 05, 2003 @ 9:57 a.m.

I didn't think it would have me this upset. I didn't think it would upset me at all.

I didn't think.

I must skip class today, I must. What if I do? The day before the last day of Monday-Wednesday-Friday classes. What will happen? I could say I'm sick.

They would know that I am lying.

(but I don't feel healthy, you see.)

You just wait. You...you just wait.

You will see.

You cannot help me. You are a part of it. You, or anyone, anyone who ever got the chance to say something to someone else in anything but a lie.

And I sing and sing of awful things

The pleasure that my sadness brings

As my fingers press onto the strings

In yet another clumsy chord

Haligh, haligh, an awful lie

This weight will now be satisfied

I'm gonna give you only one reply

I know not who I am

But I talk in the mirror

To the stranger that appears

Our conversations are circles

Always one sided

Nothing is clear

Except we keep coming back

To this meaning that I lack

He says the choices were given

Now you must live them

Or just not live

Have you guessed yet? Have you guessed that if I had a choice right now, which one I would choose?

Would you care?

Fuck. I hate asking that question. I already know the answer, and then I have to listen to all the people who would like to convince me otherwise.

All speaking in jibberish.

Not unlike this.



<< | >>

- - March 22, 2010
always the same - July 01, 2008
b-a-n-a-n-a-s! - December 25, 2006
elementary again - October 29, 2006
I don't like you, but I love you - October 03, 2006

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