Dying Horse
February 19, 2003 @ 10:27 a.m.
I would give a lot to feel good about the person that I am, but there's so many flaws to my personality that I can't do something like that.
I have decided I'm going to have to be one of those people who relies on God (even if I believe God doesn't exist), because I certainly don't like the thought that I have to handle my life myself. That's such a cop-out in my case.
If I have to take care of business for myself the rest of my life, I'm going to be even bigger than I am now and watching 5 hours of nighttime TV every day in the near future.
Problem is, I have no motivation to change this. I care, but not enough.
Here's where the whole God-should-rule-my-life thing comes in.
Sure, I could find God for a better reason...to believe in salvation, kindness, goodness, mercy, or whatever the hell else. But where's the fun in that? I swear the more educated I become the less easy it is to believe in God.
I gotta stop going to school right now if my plan is to work at all.
Anyone else sense that within this diary I'm beating a dying horse?
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- - March 22, 2010
always the same - July 01, 2008
b-a-n-a-n-a-s! - December 25, 2006
elementary again - October 29, 2006
I don't like you, but I love you - October 03, 2006