I am a mess.


Men.....
December 02, 2001 @ 12:59 p.m.

I don't know about these men. I tell ya...there's just something about them that drives me crazy in both a good and a bad way.

Matt and I talked a long time last night...it was absolutely wonderful. We chatted for a long time, getting really deep into things and still having a great time. And then afterwards he asked for my number...*sigh*...and said he might come over...*MAJOR sigh*...it ended up he didn't, but he DID call (on accident, but still)...

I don't know what this is turning into. I'm gonna guess he's just a little bit into me, since he wanted my number and because it's now programmed into his phone. But I don't want to make it into something it's not. I tend to do that more often than not.

LORD, if only.........

All the while, I'm pushing Steve away, someone that I wanted for a while now. Why's that? Because Matt's here, and tangible, and real. Steve's not. I've done the same thing to so many...as soon as I find something new, I push the old away. How horribly hypocritical of me, but I don't know how to do it any differently.

Ugh, I just know that I want this. Whether he does or not, I don't know. But I do. I do.



<< | >>

- - March 22, 2010
always the same - July 01, 2008
b-a-n-a-n-a-s! - December 25, 2006
elementary again - October 29, 2006
I don't like you, but I love you - October 03, 2006

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