Men.....
December 02, 2001 @ 12:59 p.m.
I don't know about these men. I tell ya...there's just something about them that drives me crazy in both a good and a bad way.
Matt and I talked a long time last night...it was absolutely wonderful. We chatted for a long time, getting really deep into things and still having a great time. And then afterwards he asked for my number...*sigh*...and said he might come over...*MAJOR sigh*...it ended up he didn't, but he DID call (on accident, but still)...
I don't know what this is turning into. I'm gonna guess he's just a little bit into me, since he wanted my number and because it's now programmed into his phone. But I don't want to make it into something it's not. I tend to do that more often than not.
LORD, if only.........
All the while, I'm pushing Steve away, someone that I wanted for a while now. Why's that? Because Matt's here, and tangible, and real. Steve's not. I've done the same thing to so many...as soon as I find something new, I push the old away. How horribly hypocritical of me, but I don't know how to do it any differently.
Ugh, I just know that I want this. Whether he does or not, I don't know. But I do. I do.
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