I am a mess.


"Someone you don't even know exists loves you"
December 27, 2001 @ 10:34 a.m.

Hey everyone, I'm back real quick. Hope things are going well for you. My Christmas went well I suppose, but back here things really haven't changed.

M, you rock. Just wanted to say that. You really do.

I've been writing like a madlady lately. I don't know why. I meant to bring my notebook so I could share some of it with you, but I didn't. That will come later.

I miss you guys, lots. I miss Kyle so much it burns. I miss looking into Sean's eyes...I miss Matt. I guess I miss companionship more than anything, because here, I don't really have much of a companion.

Here, it's lonely, and I sit around and get fat and waste away. I don't need to do that.

I own words, just as much as anyone. I realized that last night. I can bend and flex them to my will, just as you can. Just as you will.

I've only a short time left on this computer, but I'm not ready to leave. I missed the security of this place. How sad is it that I must live in a place where it's so easy to distort truth versus lies. I flourish in the strangest places.

My mother is already bothering me about coming back here in the summer, finding a job, taking classes at the local college, all that. She might as well be holding my head underwater. I don't want be back here in the summer, but where else can I go? I'd travel if I could, but instead, summer school.

My brother and I had a long talk last night about piercings, tattoos, and getting drunk. I've never been drunk, but I know I'm missing something. I want to get piss drunk, then go and get a little red rose tattooed on my left ankle and my ear cartilage pierced. Believe it or not, as much as I torture myself, I'm not all about pain.

I miss you more than you know.

--Kelly



<< | >>

- - March 22, 2010
always the same - July 01, 2008
b-a-n-a-n-a-s! - December 25, 2006
elementary again - October 29, 2006
I don't like you, but I love you - October 03, 2006

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