This diaryring rules
February 01, 2002 @ 2:23 p.m.
Everybody see the diaryring above this little entry? Go see it, and see the entries "Matt" and "Kyle". I wrote those.
You'll truly see what I'm thinking about.
That diaryring rules. Join it, people.
Add on: Okay, since I'm a loser, I decided to post these two letters just because I thought they were so damn good.
For Matt:
I need you to clarify things for me.
I need you to tell me that Tuesday night was nothing, that you came over for friendship, that you missed that concert on accident. Tell me that all the grins, all the laughter, all the time spent was time you wanted me as a friend.
Tell me you didn't want to smell my skin, taste my lips, hear me laugh a little closer to your ear. Tell me those touches were nothing, that that hug was just friend comfort.
Tell me that hard-on you got and I saw wasn't for me. I dare you.
And if you can: explain to me why it all happened. Why as soon as I saw you I wanted to take you in my arms and kiss you. Why by the time you left I was trying desperately not to make it into something. Why when you walked out that door I did make it something.
Tell me why you came over on Tuesday night. And don't tell me it was because I'm your friend.
For Kyle:
I'm so sick of you. You, who consumes me but isn't consumed. You, who doesn't care.
You surround me and empty me and I care so much for you. And you care not at all.
I hate the way you make me feel, hate the way you laugh, brush things aside, pretend that they don't matter.
I hate the way you pretend I don't matter.
How can you ask me to be your friend? I can't get past your eyes. Don't ask me to be deep. I'm not here for that.
I'm here for you.
Damn you for not being here for me.
And damn myself for not being able to get away.
<< | >>
- - March 22, 2010
always the same - July 01, 2008
b-a-n-a-n-a-s! - December 25, 2006
elementary again - October 29, 2006
I don't like you, but I love you - October 03, 2006