I am a mess.


Just flicker
February 15, 2002 @ 10:54 a.m.

There's just as much goth in me

as there is Catholic schoolgirl;

I wear the skirt and the chains

at the same time.

I'm a bit of a hedonist, a bit of an atheist,

a bit of a girl

and a bit of you.

Do you mind?

I want you to knock on that door, just once, without me expecting you. I want that phone to ring and have it be your voice on the other end, listening, laughing, promising. I want you to care, and I know you won't, and I purposely do this to myself, I purposely force this discomfort upon myself because it's the only way I've known.

I have always had lofty goals, even when it comes to men. I reached for the impossible because I loved the chase, and I love the chase because I know it's impossible.

That's the weird thing about me, though: I flicker but never die, never fade. Just flicker.



<< | >>

- - March 22, 2010
always the same - July 01, 2008
b-a-n-a-n-a-s! - December 25, 2006
elementary again - October 29, 2006
I don't like you, but I love you - October 03, 2006

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