I am a mess.


Truth told
March 01, 2002 @ 1:47 p.m.

This is me and Janice's talk. I wanted to share a bit with you, to show you how beautiful she is. You need some background: the poem that she is talking about is this one.

I'm falling for the man

that you could be

I'm falling for the choices

that you should make

I'm falling for the risks

that you would take

I'm falling for the laugh

you sometimes fake

I'm falling for your potential,

for fuck's sake.

~~> Also, follow the screennames the way our names start. (Example: Keekerbaby for Kelly)

JMB FC: OH KELLY

JMB FC: "for you"

Keekerbaby: what?

JMB FC: is brilliant

Keekerbaby: whoa

JMB FC: it takes me back to a very specific time

Keekerbaby: I was like, what did I do?

JMB FC: it's just out there

JMB FC: dead

JMB FC: flat

JMB FC: honest to God

JMB FC: realization

Keekerbaby: that's for Matt

Keekerbaby: too

JMB FC: I figured

Keekerbaby: I just....ack

Keekerbaby: ya know?

JMB FC: yeah, I know

JMB FC: I know

Keekerbaby: there's so much that he could be

Keekerbaby: if only....just if only

JMB FC: then.. you're not falling for him at all

JMB FC: you are in love with the idea of being in love

JMB FC: and he looks like he has the potential to be what you could see yourself falling for

JMB FC: you've got to be careful not to work too hard at love

Keekerbaby: I haven't had love to work at

JMB FC: it's relationship upkeep that takes the energy, not the interest. but you have to get there. and you have to make sure you've hooked the right fish before youdo

Keekerbaby: i've had nothing, I've had nothing

Keekerbaby: I'm a novice at this, a clueless hungry crying girl who just wants to be okay in someone else's eyes

JMB FC: It takes a while

JMB FC: I won't even close to lie to you

JMB FC: it's usually rough

Keekerbaby: I don't have anything, and I'm just looking for a sliver or hope, something that tells me that I'm worth loving

Keekerbaby: I haven't found that yet

JMB FC: but the steeper the road is, the more comforting and sweet that rest will be at the top, you know?

Keekerbaby: and I'm losing that hope

Keekerbaby: that peak is so far away

JMB FC: what religious beliefs do you hold?

Keekerbaby: I was Catholic, until I went to Catholic school

Keekerbaby: now I'm basically foreign to the term

JMB FC: lol

Keekerbaby: and anything to do with God I've forgotten

Keekerbaby: I don't pray

Keekerbaby: I don't find solace in Christ

Keekerbaby: I don't find solace in anything deistical (I think I just made up a word)

JMB FC: lol

Keekerbaby: I have nothing to do with God and he has nothing to do with me

Keekerbaby: we have an agreement, I think

JMB FC: I used to feel that way

JMB FC: but

Keekerbaby: I'm afraid I always will

JMB FC: He did create Matt

JMB FC: and you should thank him everyday

Keekerbaby: It's hard to see the truth with the veil so thick in front of my eyes



<< | >>

- - March 22, 2010
always the same - July 01, 2008
b-a-n-a-n-a-s! - December 25, 2006
elementary again - October 29, 2006
I don't like you, but I love you - October 03, 2006

[navigate]
new
old
profile
notes
sign
cast
design
diaryland