The pulpy kind
March 05, 2002 @ 11:50 a.m.
I have never been so pissed about such pettiness.
I woke up and the anger still burned me.
As I told Becky, "What did I do to get these retards that don't care? What village did I pillage and burn to the ground in my past life?"
Who the hell did I piss off?
And how can I fix it so that I don't get pot-smoking bad-ass wannabes who don't know how to comb their hair and don't give a shit about me away from me?
Seriously.
And I'm not just talking about Matt. This is Kyle, too.
Neither of them were impressed.
Are they gay? Or just stupid?
And why the hell do I have to sink to their level to feel okay about all of it?
Yuck. There goes self-therapy again.
But I'm still pissed.
I look at my life, and how such pettiness is the very thing that I hate about all relationships that go awry.
And still I'm pissed.
Bebelua is suffering...M is having some stuff done today (and if I prayed, she'd be in my prayers)...
And still I'm pissed.
What the hell is wrong with me? Do I really think that I'm that important?
I suppose foundering on the petty is what I've always done. Adds a touch of worth to my life.
I needed that. No matter how honestly petty it was, I needed that.
I needed to know that I could still feel something, even if it was pointless and trivial.
Because that means I can still breathe, still function.
Still perhaps love someday.
And now I'm ranting, and going on about nothing. Although it's quite the usual, I'm afraid I'm going to stop it today.
I need some squirt some straight toothpaste down my throat. And then follow it up with a shot of orange juice.
The pulpy kind.
<< | >>
- - March 22, 2010
always the same - July 01, 2008
b-a-n-a-n-a-s! - December 25, 2006
elementary again - October 29, 2006
I don't like you, but I love you - October 03, 2006