I am a mess.


Mourning....the answer
April 09, 2002 @ 2:30 p.m.

"Is there something that you are trying to say

Don't hold back now

It's been a long time since I felt this way

So don't hold back now

I purposely forgot about

Loving anyone

Cause I'm the only one who has

Who has been stepped upon

Is there something that you are trying to say

Cause I can take it

Cause I grew up a man this way

And if I'm hurt I'll shake it

I'll crawl back into my cave

That's how I'll make it

Cause out of all this hurt we have

Beauty thus become

Beauty thus become

In the mourning I can see the sights

No wonder I could never keep you satisfied

In the mourning I can see inside

Myself and all the things that you were trying to hide

Wishing all the best for you

And now I will say goodbye

Cause all the shit that we've been through

Put wisdom in my eyes

So walk away, don't turn around

Cause I won't be standing here

Cause all the lies that I've been living through

Are becoming very clear

And beauty thus become

Then you conned me into thinking

That all I had was you

The small insinuations

Were cutting me through

Cutting me through

And now I stand alone here

Stronger than before

And I'll never go back

Never go back

Never go

In the mourning I can see the sights

No wonder I could never keep you satisfied

In the mourning I can see inside

Myself and all the things that you were trying to hide

Tantric. "Mourning."

And I wonder why this song makes me cry. It's for you, completely written for you. I only wish you could understand.

And I thought the feelings would calm. They've grown worse, are wrecking my life all over again. And I try to bury them, try to hide them, try to seduce them into slumber.

They just fester, grow worse.

My mood has faded. I wonder why I feel so ugly around you. I think I've found the answer. And I am bound by it, enraptured and captured and drowned by it. I am leaving. I am gone. I want to go away.

I want these tears to stop.



<< | >>

- - March 22, 2010
always the same - July 01, 2008
b-a-n-a-n-a-s! - December 25, 2006
elementary again - October 29, 2006
I don't like you, but I love you - October 03, 2006

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