Mourning....the answer
April 09, 2002 @ 2:30 p.m.
"Is there something that you are trying to say
Don't hold back now
It's been a long time since I felt this way
So don't hold back now
I purposely forgot about
Loving anyone
Cause I'm the only one who has
Who has been stepped upon
Is there something that you are trying to say
Cause I can take it
Cause I grew up a man this way
And if I'm hurt I'll shake it
I'll crawl back into my cave
That's how I'll make it
Cause out of all this hurt we have
Beauty thus become
Beauty thus become
In the mourning I can see the sights
No wonder I could never keep you satisfied
In the mourning I can see inside
Myself and all the things that you were trying to hide
Wishing all the best for you
And now I will say goodbye
Cause all the shit that we've been through
Put wisdom in my eyes
So walk away, don't turn around
Cause I won't be standing here
Cause all the lies that I've been living through
Are becoming very clear
And beauty thus become
Then you conned me into thinking
That all I had was you
The small insinuations
Were cutting me through
Cutting me through
And now I stand alone here
Stronger than before
And I'll never go back
Never go back
Never go
In the mourning I can see the sights
No wonder I could never keep you satisfied
In the mourning I can see inside
Myself and all the things that you were trying to hide
Tantric. "Mourning."
And I wonder why this song makes me cry. It's for you, completely written for you. I only wish you could understand.
And I thought the feelings would calm. They've grown worse, are wrecking my life all over again. And I try to bury them, try to hide them, try to seduce them into slumber.
They just fester, grow worse.
My mood has faded. I wonder why I feel so ugly around you. I think I've found the answer. And I am bound by it, enraptured and captured and drowned by it. I am leaving. I am gone. I want to go away.
I want these tears to stop.
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