My favorite bad vacation
August 27, 2002 @ 11:06 a.m.
I am feeling very strange. Self-conscious and I have massive out-of-mind feelings. I know I should be in Indiana, not here. It feels like a joke. I feel like screaming because suddenly my guitar seems like so much work and money. I can't stop spending money, even with a car payment and insurance due soon.
I want to throw something across the room and watch it shatter so that it feels a little bit more like home. And I'm not ready to have to make decisions about Fort Wayne because I don't know what I have to do with it yet.
And I feel like saying fuck you.
I am not happy right now. Leave me alone. Quit telling me it will get better, all of you. You don't know that it will get better. It might just get worse.
That's what I feel like saying. I won't say it, but that's what I feel like saying.
This whole college thing suddenly feels like a bad vacation.
<< | >>
- - March 22, 2010
always the same - July 01, 2008
b-a-n-a-n-a-s! - December 25, 2006
elementary again - October 29, 2006
I don't like you, but I love you - October 03, 2006