Behave
May 19, 2004 @ 12:34 a.m.
I have showered and shaven, and moisturized so my skin is soft. I am cooking mushrooms, and their distinct smell is drifting over to the computer. I am savoring chamomile tea, hoping it will make me sleepy. I am delightfully chilly, my toes numbed by the seasonal air. The night is calm, and it smells like lilacs and roses outside. My neighborhood is silent. My bed has been delayed, and so there is no rush on the painting of my bedroom. I'll sleep in my mother's bed tonight, my arm wrapped firmly around my teddy bear for any insecurities I might have over the night. There will be none -- I will sleep well, assured in the knowledge that I am becoming more self-sufficient every day. I will forget that I am lonely a lot now, and cry much more now. I will breathe deeply and calmly at the thought of my gynocologist appointment tomorrow. I will smile at those who ignore me, or try to bring me down. I will listen with concern when Jessica says I have been drinking "a lot" lately, instead of becoming defensive. I will not take my friends ignoring me personally; it is rather that they are busy people, just like I am.
I will behave.
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- - March 22, 2010
always the same - July 01, 2008
b-a-n-a-n-a-s! - December 25, 2006
elementary again - October 29, 2006
I don't like you, but I love you - October 03, 2006