best one. period.
September 24, 2003 @ 4:20 p.m.
I'm angry at my best friend. But I think I have a right to be.
She's being stupid. At least, in my opinion. I don't trust her boyfriend, and say as much. She wants so badly for him to be this great person, and he's not. At least, not to me. I don't know him, and really I don't want to know him. Not when every time I talk to my best friend she's sobbing or complaining about his latest escapades.
So I'm not the friend she wants me to be, as she says, herself. I'm not even a good friend that takes care of her when she needs me, because that would entail being by her side all the time, instead of just listening to her and giving her advice I don't believe myself. But I can't keep listening to how much she loves him, and how fucking badly he's treating her. I. can't.
There's only so much a person can listen to about how things are really getting better ("I swear!") and how they're "working on it." And then you wonder if she realizes she only calls when she wants to talk about herself and her problems with him. And you begin to wonder if this is a friendship after all.
And I'm not sorry I hung up on you today, after I called your decision to stay with Jeff the dumbest thing I've ever heard. Because you're stronger, much stronger, than he will ever let you be. But you're going to let him do to you what he will regardless, because you believe you're in love.
So no. I'm not the friend that you want me to be, Becky. I'm just the best one that you've got.
<< | >>
- - March 22, 2010
always the same - July 01, 2008
b-a-n-a-n-a-s! - December 25, 2006
elementary again - October 29, 2006
I don't like you, but I love you - October 03, 2006