In touch
April 15, 2002 @ 10:43 p.m.
All right. So I've been told he'll never read this. I've been told I can always push it aside, never make him understand. And so, and so...I promise I won't lock this diary. I promise I won't go anywhere (far). I apologize for the temporary panic.
Chris pointed out to me that I shouldn't have to make people understand what I write, that's not my job as a writer.
He also told me that I don't have much to lose with Matt anyway, and I should work on getting rid of him in my way.
I just feel like I'd be a mess without him. I hate feeling so dependent on a person who does not feel anything for me. I promise I will focus my attention upon someone else, sometime soon. I just want to get through these last few weeks with him in my thoughts.
Even now, he comforts me, makes me smile. I want to be as happy as possible here, have as many good memories of this place before I leave. Believe it or not, he's one of them. Several of them, actually.
And it angers me to think that I'm going to be so independent of all you people that I love so desperately. I've decided that I love you all entirely too much and that you should know that.
I do, too. I think you are all the sweetest people in the world. Some I've just found (seraphina...chris...), others have become wonderful friends (m...) and yet others I just enjoy reading.
Instead of locking this diary, perhaps I'll do this. If you want to receive letters from me during the summer, since I won't be updating much, leave me your address by e-mailing or leaving a note. I promise I will respect your privacy completely.
I just want to keep in touch with you all....
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- - March 22, 2010
always the same - July 01, 2008
b-a-n-a-n-a-s! - December 25, 2006
elementary again - October 29, 2006
I don't like you, but I love you - October 03, 2006