I can show you desperate
January 19, 2002 @ 12:36 p.m.
Well, so what the dilly-o.
Nothing makes sense anymore. I thought I had things figured out, but I was wrong. Perhaps it's supposed to feel this numb.
I didn't think I could be so bored. I didn't think I could be so confused.
I didn't think I could have absolutely nothing to say and still want to say it. I thought that was for those who talked too much anyway.
Maybe that's my problem. I'm talking without listening. Speaking without hearing.
Pretending without knowing.
Is there anyone out there willing to have a decent conversation? I feel like everyone's getting sick of me, like everyone's saying goodbye before I want them to.
Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I'm paranoid. But maybe I'm right.
I feel like I'm drifting further away from everyone, instead of them drifting away from me. Usually you feel the isolation is from others.
I find it is coming from myself.
So how do I keep you interested? I did for so long but without using my feminine whiles what's the point?
You don't seem to recognize me without them.
I want to go shopping, and buy everything that I can't ever possibly afford.
Tell me that you care, that you hate me, that you never want to speak to me again. Tell me I'm beautiful, I'm ugly, that you would rather fuck a goat than be bombarded by me.
But don't ignore me. Please, God, you make me feel like shit, but it makes me feel. It makes you feel.
I'm screaming for help and you're looking the other way, towards that other damsel in distress.
The one that's prettier.
Don't go that way. I can promise you much better.
I can show you desperate.
<< | >>
- - March 22, 2010
always the same - July 01, 2008
b-a-n-a-n-a-s! - December 25, 2006
elementary again - October 29, 2006
I don't like you, but I love you - October 03, 2006