Blair.
April 12, 2002 @ 3:46 p.m.
It's hard to distinguish who's yelling and who's listening amid this.
I have fallen to mustiness. I'll be waiting outside.
I know why I hate her now. I know why.
Because she's everything that I'm not. Everything I want to be, if I wasn't tied down to so much.
Mostly just tied down to myself.
There is so much that I want to do that I can't possibly share with you. It's her job, those of the elite.
You know, those who feel comfortable around people, who can make friends easily, laugh and talk and not sound like an idiot.
I find the more I compare myself to her, the more I come up short.
I hate feeling this way and I hate comparing myself to her, but she's the object of his desire and I am not. She seems to have had an all-right life and I really have not. I don't know her, but I assume these things so that I may somehow justify this desire he has for her. Make it all right somehow in my mind that he doesn't have this desire for me.
It's not working.
<< | >>
- - March 22, 2010
always the same - July 01, 2008
b-a-n-a-n-a-s! - December 25, 2006
elementary again - October 29, 2006
I don't like you, but I love you - October 03, 2006
