woke up to the sound of pouring rain
June 02, 2004 @ 5:35 p.m.
This feeling of malaise is not getting better with time, it's getting worse. I rather feel now that I would like to sleep for a long while, or drink more than I should, maybe until I'm sick. I'ts not that I'm bored, it's that I'm restless, and that this rain comes every day, which makes it very hard to plan doing anything out in the sun.
I feel impossible. I feel like I'm not doing anything with myself -- and while that's the case this very moment, I've sort of begun to feel like that all of the time. I'm not depressed; I'm actually quite happy the majority of the time. I'm just sad at the moment, and wanting to write and babble on without really having anything much to say. So, it seems, I'm prolific as well as sad.
(So cold I'm shaking.)
Things are going well, and I feel guilty for it. I don't know why I should. Perhaps because they've never been quite as good as things are right now. I am happy. I have some money in my pocket. I don't have many friends, but Becky and I have been spending great amounts of time together, and it's really strengthened our friendship.
I guess it's just a sad day. And I guess it's just something I'm going to have to deal with.
Ugh. Fuck this.
Feeling: ridiculous.
Listening to: Skid Row's "I Remember You"
<< | >>
- - March 22, 2010
always the same - July 01, 2008
b-a-n-a-n-a-s! - December 25, 2006
elementary again - October 29, 2006
I don't like you, but I love you - October 03, 2006