I am a mess.


Belong
June 14, 2002 @ 2:43 p.m.

So. Reality vs. non-reality. The way I feel when I'm free vs. the way I feel when I think about Matt.

It seems every time I start thinking about my past, it saddens me to the point of tears. I really didn't think it was that bad. I thought I could deal with the demons, mostly. I find that I'm becoming more frightened of everything as I go.

...And I tremble now, because I don't know what to expect. I still let people rule me, and I'm wondering if that's possible after all this supposed self-discovery.

Self-discovery is bullshit.

I'm getting tired, already. And I write in circles as of late. I'm such a restless bitch, I am. And I'm sick of not being somewhere that I belong. I feel like wandering but I don't like where my wandering gets me.

I miss at least pretending I belong to someone.



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- - March 22, 2010
always the same - July 01, 2008
b-a-n-a-n-a-s! - December 25, 2006
elementary again - October 29, 2006
I don't like you, but I love you - October 03, 2006

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