I can be satisfied
December 14, 2003 @ 2:44 p.m.
Well, I'm feeling mildly better as far as the metaphorical self-flagellation goes. I'm still very stressed out, though. This paper is giving me stomachaches, and headaches, and the skin on my lips is being torn off in clumps. I have two paragraphs and I've been writing since yesterday. I have become too much like a poet, analyzing every line as though it means so much to the whole. I have forgotten how to write prose in any form, but I am driving through it. Four finals. One paper. I am afraid of my grades this semester. I have been slacking, in all parts of my life, but especially that part.
I am hoping for two pages today, before two hours of studying with Jason (of which I am dressed drearily in navy for -- there will be no impressive show of my breasts today) and a quick scribbling of an essay question that will be turned in tomorrow at the oral communication final.
I am uninterested in my life as a whole, and when I am uninterested I ignore it. I must get through Wednesday, and then. And then I can relax. Then I can read books that I enjoy again, and sleep again, and pretend that Bridget does not exist. I can spend time with Aaron then, and Becky then, and perhaps have money again. I can take road trips to places other than Cedar Falls. I can go. I can stay. I can be satisfied.
Feeling: blah.
Listening to: Sum 41's "Over My Head"
<< | >>
- - March 22, 2010
always the same - July 01, 2008
b-a-n-a-n-a-s! - December 25, 2006
elementary again - October 29, 2006
I don't like you, but I love you - October 03, 2006