Blurred vision
August 08, 2003 @ 12:09 a.m.
Happy 20th birthday to me.
Meh.
Becky took me out tonight. I think she knew I needed cheering up. I don't know why, but for the past day or so I just feel like crying all the time. I don't know why. Maybe it's because I want a boyfriend.
I do. I do so badly. I know that's all I seem to talk about anymore, but Jesus Christ, I'm having sex dreams about Jeff Goldblum. Jeff Goldblum, people. He's fifty years old.
Yeah.
I want. I want an emo boy. One with a guitar. I know he'll break my heart, Bobby, I know he will. But I can't care about that anymore. I have one very specific in mind but would rather die a very painful death than find a way to get close to him.
I don't have an "ideal man", per se. It's strange, though. If you look around my room, you see reoccuring themes. Kurt Cobain, Calvin Klein model Travis Fimmel (of which I purposely didn't put in a beefcake underwear link, because this is what he looks like with clothes on and he's sexy.)
I also like Jonathan Rhys-Meyers, Sean Biggerstaff, Steve Burton, Steve Braun, Tom Welling, Michael Pitt, Ryan Gosling. Some of these guys have long blonde hair and blue eyes, which is probably my favorite coloring.
They're not too feminine and they're not too masculine. They're confident in their workings, but often quiet. They're hands, and eyes, and mouth.
That's how I can describe what I want, physically. Hands and eyes and mouth.
I like piercings, as long as they're not too out of control, and tattoos the same way. For some reason, the right voice is very important. I like experience and innocence combined, if there is such a thing.
I like laughs. I like compassion. I like passion. I like someone who wants to prove to me that they need me.
Hell. ...It's one o'clock in the morning, and I'm trying to describe to you what it is I see in my head.
Trouble is, my vision's blurry.
<< | >>
- - March 22, 2010
always the same - July 01, 2008
b-a-n-a-n-a-s! - December 25, 2006
elementary again - October 29, 2006
I don't like you, but I love you - October 03, 2006
