it's not love. fuckoff.
December 02, 2003 @ 3:22 p.m.
I'm bored. I'm bored! I should be doing something useful with my life, but I'm so restless lately it's painful. I don't sleep much anymore. Even naps, which used to be my lifesavers, are fitful and hard to come by. But mostly I'm just bored.
Aaron keeps me entertained (and I sleep well with him), but spending too much time with him, I think, is bad. For me, at least. I feel like I shouldn't be so dependent on him. I am becoming more and more dependent on him, but that's because I'm growing closer to him. I trust him. And I don't trust easily.
And I'm babbling.
It's too girlfriendy to want to spend a lot of time with him, isn't it? It's like...bad, right?
I don't know. I just know I like being with him. I like watching football with him. I like how he smells. I like his hands. I like it when we're in his bed. Or watching movies. Or at Happy Chef. Or wherever. That's when everything just calms in my head and I don't have to think about anything. And it's good. Because my head hurts a lot from thinking too much.
And no I am not falling in love with him, and no, we're not dating, and no this and no that. We're friends. Shut up. I know what you're thinking.
Ugh...fucking...I give up. I can't even write a decent journal entry anymore. I'm tired of this damn thing.
Feeling: exasperated.
<< | >>
- - March 22, 2010
always the same - July 01, 2008
b-a-n-a-n-a-s! - December 25, 2006
elementary again - October 29, 2006
I don't like you, but I love you - October 03, 2006