I am a mess.


Go about
May 31, 2002 @ 2:42 p.m.

Kelly: so what's up with this Jamie girl that I heard about?

Matt: jamie?

Kelly: yeah

Kelly: the chick who you told Jessica about, you were gonna take her to the Incubus concert

Matt: yah - we had a good time

Kelly: you want to start something with her?

Matt: if it works

Kelly: what do you mean, if it works?

Matt: me and her

Kelly: you don't think it will?

Matt: I don't know, I don't like to expect too much, becuase usualy it dosen't work out

Kelly: don't you suppose you could be positive about it?

Kelly: you said that you need to learn to get close to people, right? So why don't you try with her?

Matt: ... because I don[t' wanna fuck stuff up

Kelly: you'll fuck stuff up if you don't get close to her

Matt: oh well

Kelly: you want to be like that?

Matt: damned if i do...

Kelly: I don't know if I would say that

Kelly: you're the one who's so goal-oriented

Kelly: can't you just say "Hey, I think I'll start communicating with people more?"

Matt: because

Kelly: what are you afraid of?

Matt: me

Kelly: what's to fear?

Matt: oh well

Kelly: I don't think there's anything to fear with you

Kelly: I just don't understand why you can't open up to people....are you afraid of revealing too much and then you're open and exposed?

Matt: yep

Kelly: you're going to have to eventually....or it will be very difficult to love someone and have someone love you

Matt: sigh

Kelly: oh, what?

Matt: nothing

Kelly: psssh, whatever, you just don't like having decent conversations with me :-P

Matt: sigh

Kelly: I see how you are

Matt: I guess

Kelly: hm.

Kelly: you don't like talking about yourself when we have to get halfway serious, do you? You dodge questions like crazy

Matt: I try

Kelly: grrrr

It's his fault that he's damned. He's the one who damns his own cause. I just want to help him with it......because even if he's not happy with me, I want him to be happy. I don't care much whether or not it's with me anymore.

....I don't know, there's got to be a better way to go about all of this.



<< | >>

- - March 22, 2010
always the same - July 01, 2008
b-a-n-a-n-a-s! - December 25, 2006
elementary again - October 29, 2006
I don't like you, but I love you - October 03, 2006

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