...all apologies
February 14, 2004 @ 2:29 a.m.
Oh, I'm so very tired. I haven't felt this exhausted in a long time. But it's the good mental exhaustion, the kind you get from long talks about everything in particular with a best friend who is a great conversationalist.
...Even saying that made me tired.
I was supposed to do something with Becky tonight, and I apologize to her for not calling her back. In all fairness, though, I wasn't going to wait around for her call (as I know she wouldn't have wanted me to) and Aaron and I hadn't seen each other in, oh, about a day. So he made me dinner and we watched "Phone Booth" and "Edward Scissorhands", then went to Happy Chef and, uh, ate some more, and talked. About everything. And it was pretty good.
I did hurt his feelings though, completely by accident -- I generally like a bit of good-natured name-calling with all my friends, and I said something tonight that didn't roll off his back like it normally does. Without getting into specifics, I hurt his feelings and for that I apologize -- again.
I'm doing a lot of apologizing tonight.
It was a good night otherwise. There's something he wouldn't tell me, though, that I would firk out of him if I could, but he said it would hurt me and I would consider him shallow. And I don't doubt it would hurt me. I have a feeling of what it is, and if it is what I believe it to be, than it already has hurt me. I'm afraid that's just my...stuff. My issues.
I hate issues. They're such a lame way of saying you can't deal with certain things. It's easier to just say you have "issues" than actually dealing with the issue put forth in front of you. It's easier to take a pill, party hard, smile through your sadness.
...Philosophy is hard at three a.m.
So, tomorrow! Nothing special. Valentine's Day is evil. Perhaps I shall buy flowers for myself. It will be grand. Grand, I say!
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- - March 22, 2010
always the same - July 01, 2008
b-a-n-a-n-a-s! - December 25, 2006
elementary again - October 29, 2006
I don't like you, but I love you - October 03, 2006