Important -- please open immediately
March 17, 2003 @ 4:41 p.m.
And the more I think about it, the more it is all the same minus being in my dorm room. I'm still thinking about Matt constantly just because there are reminders everywhere. I get in the car, I hear his voice doing commercials on the radio (something he swore to me that he never did). I get online, there he is. I find some sanity in writing but I haven't written anything worth reading in a while, so why should that change?
This place is a serious melancholy that puts me on the bottom and leaves me considering things I haven't considered in months now.
The clouds are forming outside and I can't help but think they're prophetic. Watch out, they say. Never can be too careful with dumb boys.
It bothers me that all I seem to worry about is this asinine bullshit, when we're on the brink of war and all. I like to think that I'm slightly more intelligent than I seem with these words. I must apologize by saying my boy-o-meter is horribly leaning towards the left. I am what they call desperate.
I concern myself with boys that will have nothing to do with me. But that's all I know, as I have yet to find a boy that will have anything to do with me. It could be because I wax overdramatic, that I'm fat, that I'm the scary kind of fat (instead of the cuddly kind), that I'm not polite, that I don't break for jaywalkers.
It could be because I'm evil.
Even my friends will assure you that my intensity is frightening, not appealing. It is what frightens people away, not brings them forth. I am a straight-shooter and some see it as rude. I am afraid I am tired of lies.
I am afraid this has turned into a random rant of silly things that I shouldn't be upset about.
<< | >>
- - March 22, 2010
always the same - July 01, 2008
b-a-n-a-n-a-s! - December 25, 2006
elementary again - October 29, 2006
I don't like you, but I love you - October 03, 2006