Woodwork/fully visible
March 18, 2003 @ 4:44 p.m.
So my wish came true -- I don't get to see Sean. I'm incredibly disappointed and yet I know it's probably better this way, anyway. It leaves me no room for idiocy. And perhaps better, it leaves no room for me to see him ever again, except on a fluke.
You see, it was always the four of us. Once Becky goes back to Iowa, and I'm back here in Indiana, it'll never be Blaine and Sean and I -- no, never. We are connected very intricately and with Becky gone those connections will be gone as well.
And suddenly I can't be here anymore, suddenly I have been forgotten and that is not all right suddenly. I'm being stupid but suddenly this whole place makes my eyes cross and my stomach falter. Suddenly I remember all those lonely-bored nights, and although talking to Jessica has nipped at the pain, I still feel it creeping.
I wonder if I disappeared into the woodwork that it would be any different than being fully visible.
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- - March 22, 2010
always the same - July 01, 2008
b-a-n-a-n-a-s! - December 25, 2006
elementary again - October 29, 2006
I don't like you, but I love you - October 03, 2006